Fun with homework

When you're homeschooled, you can do fun things.

For example, my brother left his school paper up with only a title written. What a shame. So I wrote it for him. Enjoy.

Was it Bound to Happen?

A discussion on “fate” in the Lord of the Rings

The concept of “fate” is one that I have struggled with for many years. The theory suggests that once something is put in motion, it never stops to take a break, not for the bathroom, or gas stations… how does it keep running? It’s like you’re in a race, you see, and all the other runners have a keen sense of the disease, but you’re just clueless, you know? So while everyone else is avoiding the bad music, you’ve steered right into some annoying instrumental waltz from the eighties. It’s getting really annoying but you can’t do anything about it or your business will fail. If that happens, you know the family will starve because we really need cheese. All the protein and fiber… it builds the importance of healthy bones. Without it, you’d squish. You know, like a tennis racket that got left out in the sun. Not very lovable. Of course, nobody wants to feel like that which is why I invented a variation of the microwave. It cooks your food and gives you hugs, like the pros do in those big, televised games they’re having so much of lately. And if that’s hard to swallow, there are miniatures, like in dollhouses where the bread isn’t actually edible because it’s made of ceramic. When you try to eat one, you just end up making an extra trip to the dentist for one of those root canals. Kind of like the Suez Canal, but Egypt actually doesn’t want you at all because you’d get a sunburn with that pale skin of yours. If we tried a new sunscreen with like, SPF100, we might could start ending cancer right now. It would be a huge step forward for science! Of course, I’ll document the progress or nobody will take us seriously. When they ask for our proof of purchase, you’ll give them the sticker from the receipt while I remember the notes.